Dating 2006 - A girls view

[GRNKPR]

Originally Posted by FRDGAL_AU6

I agree with that. You don't need to be "hot" to be attractive. Yeah it helps lol but I don't think it should be the most important thing.

I personally have always been attracted to a persons personality. It's what I see first. Ofcourse I see other things lol ;), I am human after all :P but the right personality will hook me and it really is what I look for and see before anything else. Looks don't mean anything to me. If he has the right personality then that's what matters the most, to me. And who am I to judge another person anyway. I'm no beauty queen myself nor am I perfect.

Far too many people are missing out on wonderful friendships or relationships because of being judged on the outside...

to true i am just back on the singles scene and have been on a couple dates one girl fantastic to go out for lunch with but a couple of drinks a total nutcase ,so i thought it was time to try another went out as a group all going great but i didnt know my stupid sister invited the nutcase so i think you know how that ended .i dont judge people and personalitys are on the top of my list too
but i am losing faith quick is there any decent women out there

[GK]

Originally Posted by FRDGAL_AU6

Far too many people are missing out on wonderful friendships or relationships because of being judged on the outside...

Agreed!

It's been said that "Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart." So I guess to see something beautiful inside each person, means we have eyes sort of like God. I reckon that's cool!

I am a teacher, and the topic I posed my VCE ethics class on Tuesday was, "Does society place too much importance on appearances?"

Their responses were very honest and the discussion was really good.

One girl, told by her talent agent, that she didn't have the look to make it as a star. As a consequence, this already pretty 17year old, has lost 15kg and is having jaw reconstruction surgery, all for a "chance" at being a star!

Very sad indeed!

GK

[chich]

Originally Posted by FordFan86

Dedicated to this thread.
http://media.putfile.com/ahlamour

This is briliant.. love it. it summarises everything so well. I absolutely p**sed myself at the way in which he stops at the fat lady and then walks off :

[XR6Gal]

Originally Posted by chich

This is briliant.. love it. it summarises everything so well. I absolutely p**sed myself at the way in which he stops at the fat lady and then walks off :

I didn't think that was funny at all. A lot of larger people are actually more friendly & a hell of a lot nicer than some skinny people.

FRDGAL_AU6

Far too many people are missing out on wonderful friendships or relationships because of being judged on the outside..

This is so very true.

[Falcon Freak]

Dating? There is one girl at work which is going to make me lose the plot. :

FF

[gtfpv]

Originally Posted by fiery

Well if I have said it to someone it is generally meaning they think they are better than others..

So I would be thinking it was a bad thing to have said to you unless it was in a joking way (being funny, stirring etc).

Otherwise it is pretty much an insult

ok , now i know. i thought it ment that i was an easy pickup.

[gtfpv]

Originally Posted by 4.9 EF Futura

Poison Ivy (and ladies across the land)... you need to encourage chivalrous behaviour, as most guys are just confused beyond all comprehension in this day and age. Having been in and around the dating traps over recent years (with little success might i add lol), the message coming collectively from females is very confusing.

You finally get a foot in the door, get the courage up, gain the opportunity... whatever... to ask a girl out. Assuming you get a positive response... and assuming you've timed the phonecall perfectly. Not "too soon" (too eager) and not "too late" (a bastard).

You ask what time they would like to be picked up. An offer of convinience, an offer to make the lady's life a little bit easier.

Only to find out that it is a faux-pas. Apparently the lady wants to drive herself, wants some independence, doesnt want to rely on the guy for a lift home if the date goes poorly. I've had dates cancel for this very reason.

Open the door for your date? Apparently trying too hard. No good.

Pay for dinner? Apparently trying to show off $$$. No good.

Wear a shirt and a tie? Again - apparently trying too hard. No good.

Oh... that's if you're allowed the opportunity to take said lady to dinner. Apparently "dinner and a movie" is outdated now? Apparently makes for a crap date? Dinner is "too personal" and movies dont allow sufficient interaction.

Right.

Out for a drink? Oh... must just be trying to get her p***ed so I can have my way with her. Try coffee instead.

Saturday night? Aparently this is another faux-pas. I believe we're expected to pick a less-hectic night for the young lady's scheduling. God forbid we disturb any other potential social outings. Give thursday night a shot hey?

There is a consistent theme where behaving in a chilvalrous manner is "trying too hard", there is an implication there that its seen as dishonest behavious "oh, guys will do anything to get inside our pants"

So here i am. Thursday afternoon, for coffee (which we pay for seperately), after she catches the bus into town, opening her own doors the entire time. I'm searching for ways to demonstrate gentleman-like behaviour, but need to be careful i dont come across as too needy/desperate/sleasy/etc.

A slight deviation from the original plan of picking said girl up at 8, taking to a nice resteraunt for a good meal and a nice glass of wine followed by a short stroll or... god forbid... late screening at the movies.

Confused? Doesnt begin to describe it. Old fashioned? Probably. But when did that become a "bad thing"?

Maybe the girls i date all watch too much 'sex in the city'??? lol

I assure you that chivalry is not dead. But its too often confused with being a slease, surely it comes as no suprise that we are cautious about such displays?

dude she thinks your gay. you worry too much . it's your way or no way . if you let them dictate what they want they will see your not taking the lead, and dump you quicker than a F6 dumps a ricer.

[gtfpv]

Originally Posted by stera

With the risk of getting bashed and abused... Verbally (!!).. I'd like to add my two cents...

Where to start...

You need to be honest and true to yourself... You can look in the mirror and see exactly whats there. If your smoking hot, half your luck... But you need to be far more careful when approaching women than, 'average' looking men. Thats the trick tho, approaching women.

'Hot' women get approached 10, 20, 30 times a day, by all types that have already been covered in this thread (ferals, I think you were refering to). The problem is, you need to look at the attitude these guys are taking... They are saying, right, this women is attractive, I can approach her, say a few things and if things go well, good... If not... Learn from the mistake and try again. Everybody is too scared by fear.

Whats the worse that can happen? They will reject you? SO WHAT? Their loss. If you approach someone and have a really good conversation (keep it short) and you ask for their number or email and they say, Oh, I have a partner... Say thats ok, give me a call when your ready to upgrade.

Go into shops where people of the opposite sex are PAID to talk to you. Go into a department store to the perfume section and ask the women to help you choose. Spray two different sprays on yourself and ask the women which they prefer... After they reply, u say, Hmm, I knew you would say that one... Then tell them to give you and honest opinion, as you wana be a chick magnet... Play it... Think of a person, say James Bond, Mr Cool... If you look daggy, you act daggy... If you look and feel good, people get the vibe...

I dont know... Im not very emotional... I think that if people are too scared to do something, thats their fault... Get out there... Do things... Each day you live is one less day you have.

Know what your going to say... and say it... Approach 50 people a day in the mall and make mistakes, but like everything, the more u do it, the better you will get!

Clean your house, clean your car... FIRE UP !!

Adopt NIKE... JUST DO IT !!

mate i'm mister average. and short at that 5 '' 7. most women are my hieght or taller, i used toi go for the stunners, believe it or not most men shy away from them and go for the ordinary friend thinking she'll be a better target.

[gtfpv]

Originally Posted by Bobman

What a great thread this is

From my own experience, there is an increasing number of girls who do not want commitment and enjoy being promiscuis.

It's so true that behind most girls is history and sometimes if you like a girl and you see her for a short while the history will come back and bite you ending any hopes of making something with her.

When your in a relationship girls seem to come out of everywhere, but when your single it's a rough trot. Clubs etc are not really a great place to meet someone either, I still stand by the library chick saying.. although sometimes if you meet a girl that is really nice etc us guys can sometimes take it for granted and lose it realising later just how perfect that girl really was.

It's an easy world for girls to get guys, which sadly brings big heads & attitude - which drives most level-headed nice blokes away.

girls just want to have fun !!! the loving bit comes later.

[gtfpv]

Originally Posted by AUII_SE_Ute

Yep, I've heard this too.

Sadly though, and this will open a can of worms, but I find that most women my age don't know they've got a nice guy staring them in the face until it's too late.

Case in point, the last girl I asked out, got to know her first over several conversations, then asked her out on a date. I get "You're a nice guy and all, but..."

Well, she had a chance, blew it as far as I'm concerned, and I don't give second chances to anyone, so she misses out.

There are people on this forum who can back me up when I say I'm a nice bloke. It's just a shame that you don't know what you got until it's gone...

i agree with you lots of young girls go for the hot looks because the guy next door , showing interest is too nice, later though those girls wish they had a nice guy.

[gtfpv]

Originally Posted by XRchic

What if her comment was: "You are a nice guy and all, but.... Im just not attracted to you, sorry." ?????

Ive been knocked back and had similar things said to me in my life and I dont think there was much more to it than the fact that the fellas didnt feel the chemistry, the attraction that they felt they needed to start a relationship. For the most part, I dont think it is more complex than that (although Im sure there are situation where it is).

Can you blame people for not being attracted to you? Its not normally something that someone can change. Do you want a relationship with someone you know is not attracted to you? Or with someone who feels no chemistry for you? Do you blame them if they dont have chemistry or attraction? Who's fault is it? Is it anyone's fault?

What that person is probably saying is "You ARE a really nice guy, and and I DO like you as a person and I WOULD like to be your friend but I am not attracted to you in the way that a girlfriend should be."

What is wrong with that? Thats just life.

so so true . i wish my let downs in the past were up front . instead of it's not you it's me . or your too nice for me . i would've been less hurt if they just said . i'm just not attracted to you. you cant hold a grudge against that . and it's straight forward and much easier to take.

[FRDGAL]

Originally Posted by chich

This is briliant.. love it. it summarises everything so well.

Actually, that really was brilliant. It summed up society and it's judgements perfectly! _

[gtfpv]

actually after reading all this i think i've just realised something . and i could be wrong . but my wife loves me i know . i think she has lost attraction for me. i must give this one some thought . sorry to get personal.

Originally Posted by fiery

That has to be THE best statement of the month if not year... it is so so true......

The way I see it though is, if someone judges me by the way I look then that is their massive loss....

I am a sucker for nice eyes.... :

OHHH IM A SUCK FOR EYES TOOOOO! lol and smile :P

i must say, WHAT A THREAD! took me all night just to catchup where i last left my post :P

some EXTREMELY ACCURATE statements from people in here, iiim really surprised at how much people pay attention to the 'dating game' its true tho, and i must admit, I am a girl that enjoys being around a guy thats going to treat me well.... and I know i deserve that, and so does every other person out there

Trust and loyalty is my biggest issue with guys and relationships. So its really unfortunate for the great, genuine guys that will do the right thing, it takes tiime to build a trust, and im so cautious about them these days....
They prolly dont understand, and if they arnt interested that much in helpin me get to know em and trust em, then they can go, coz i dont want screwing up any more!

[LTDHO]

Originally Posted by chanbags

and I know i deserve that, and so does every other person out there

Men are not servants for woman, and from time to time this is how we feel.

Originally Posted by chanbags

Trust and loyalty is my biggest issue with guys and relationships. So its really unfortunate for the great, genuine guys that will do the right thing, it takes tiime to build a trust, and im so cautious about them these days....
They prolly dont understand, and if they arnt interested that much in helpin me get to know em and trust em, then they can go, coz i dont want screwing up any more!

I agree. The hardest part is finding a girkl I can trust or is loyal. Yet the search still continues..

[XRchic]

Originally Posted by chich

This is briliant.. love it. it summarises everything so well. I absolutely p**sed myself at the way in which he stops at the fat lady and then walks off :

Im a fat chic. I am sooo glad that my gorgeous partner didnt walk past me.

[revhead24ads]

Hi All, Its very interesting reading this forum. Im going through a really hard emotional stage right now after a break up, I dont think i should get too personal on the forum. But if there is anyone male or female around my age (23) that would like to chat in private about this topic (ie dating, woman etc) then id like that and it may help me.

[promina]

poison_ivy

i am a very shy guy. i have lots of morals about respect for women. because i will not be sleazey ever, i will never have a gf. because girls dont notice the quite guys. hence why im almost 22, never kissed a girl/had sex. *shrug* i dont plan to change, it looks like im going to be single for a while lol.

promina

[gozza]

promina mate.....you got nothing to lose man....obviously you aint the type to pick up chicks in clubs(me neither) but to be honest if your only looking out for sex (not syaing you are)you won't find the girl you want....(you may think so at the time lol).....You don't have to be arrogant or vain or anything...Just be yourself...If your really reaslly shy then im sure there a really shy girl out there for you

[4.9 EF Futura]

So much more to life than chasing women anyways

[fiery]

Originally Posted by 4.9 EF Futura

So much more to life than chasing women anyways

(or males!!!!)

Exactly.... screaming around a skid pan enjoying the sideways action... looking at your tyres and realising it is time to put them onto stock rims for the next time there is a burnout pad to be used...
Drags spring to mind too
and
mmm lets see what else... cruising...... and.... a bit of cruising.... and lets see.. Oh I know.. go cruising....

[Bucket]

Originally Posted by promina

poison_ivy

i am a very shy guy. i have lots of morals about respect for women. because i will not be sleazey ever, i will never have a gf. because girls dont notice the quite guys. hence why im almost 22, never kissed a girl/had sex. *shrug* i dont plan to change, it looks like im going to be single for a while lol.

promina

Chin up Promina,
I'm 22, Have only had one serious relationship (when i was almost 21--->22) And before that, not much really, kissed a few girls here and there, but that was it.
I'm single again but and am not a fan of finding my next relationship in a club or place like that. Hense, when the situation's arrise where you're attracted/like a girl etc you need to pounce on them (on the situation, not the girl).

Don't call yourself shy because you've just labelled yourself and your mind will limit you through fear of rejection etc.

My company has various conferences at a hotel just down the street for me and thats where I met this gorgeous blonde, blue eyed girl who had me almost tripping over myself.
At first the fear of being rejected overwhelmed me, partially because my last relationship was broken off by my girlfriend and I was afraid of feeling any form of rejection again. I talked myself out of it and asked her out for a coffee.
Unfortunately for me, she was already seeing someone but said that if she wasnt, she probably would have said yes and she thanked me for asking.
For some reason I wasnt hurt by that. Maybe a little disapointed that she was taken but that was it. Knowing that I had the balls to ask her instead of never know what might have been was far more satisfying.

[4.9 EF Futura]

Originally Posted by fiery

(or males!!!!)

Of course fiery!! Please forgive my oversight!

[fiery]

Originally Posted by 4.9 EF Futura

Of course fiery!! Please forgive my oversight!

I will this time : but
don't make a habit of it :

_2:

[landau5.8]

The woman complaining about men should try and put themselves in our shoes. I for once would like to see the girls go up to the guys and start a conversation. Today we have eqality amongst the ranks so why not on this also...

[EA2BA]

Be honest, sincere, listen and above all stop looking, and then magically you meet someone.

You go up to a women or man and say "I would like to get to know you better over coffee" whats the worst they can say is no.

To be honest I met my wife over the internet chatting, was a great way to learn about the other person, I hated going to night clubs, so it seemed a good approach, and it worked great.

[revhead24ads]

I also hate night clubs and when i do go out i go out with my mates and thier girlfriends to a pub or to someones house and so the options of meeting someone are zero. So i'm hoping to rely on me doing activities that i like such as race go karts, play golf and tennis then maybe while im doing something i enjoy then i will meet someone similar and i havent gone out of my way to find them. I hope that makes sense.

[GK]

Originally Posted by revhead24ads

I also hate night clubs and when i do go out i go out with my mates and thier girlfriends to a pub or to someones house and so the options of meeting someone are zero. So i'm hoping to rely on me doing activities that i like such as race go karts, play golf and tennis then maybe while im doing something i enjoy then i will meet someone similar and i havent gone out of my way to find them. I hope that makes sense.

Perfect sense!

GK

[chich]

Originally Posted by XR6Gal

I didn't think that was funny at all. A lot of larger people are actually more friendly & a hell of a lot nicer than some skinny people.

Come on - loosen up will you. Has everyones sense of humour gone down the toilet? Hate me if you will but larger people are more friendly because they need to be.

[XR6Gal]

Originally Posted by chich

Come on - loosen up will you. Has everyones sense of humour gone down the toilet? Hate me if you will but larger people are more friendly because they need to be.

No not everyone's sense of humour has gone down the toilet, but it just simply is not funny because why should someone be judged on how much weight they carry around? And no they don't need to be more friendly, they simply just are.