Joke 4 the day

[deesun]

Mr. Howard dies and went to hell.
The devil asked him how he would like to spend eternity and gave hima a choice of three rooms.

Saddam H. was in the first being stung by a thousand scorpions.

Maggie Thatcher was in the second being bitten by a hundred snakes.

In the third, Bill Clinton was groaning with pleasure, his pants around his ankles, as Monica was going down on him.

Mr Howard looked at the devil and without hesitation chose door number 3.

The devil opened the door and said,





"OK Monica - you can come out now!"

[darkfang888]

lol! good one.

[gtfpv]

i love it what a beauty blaaaahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Marlin_Girl]

HAHAHAH!!! that's brilliant!!!

[Bossxr8]

John Howard would have loved it if it was George Bush. Little c***sucker.

[Charliewool]

Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked what
their fathers did for a living. The typical answers came up --
fireman,

policeman, salesman, etc... David was being uncharacteristically
quiet
and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his
clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really
good,
he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for
money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the
other
children to work on some coloring, and took Little David aside to
ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said David, "He plays for the Collingwood football team , but

I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

[Franky]

hahahaha classic

[Charliewool]

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment. Get their
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell
their stories.

Michael said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of
egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in
a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in
the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."

"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
Very good," said the teacher.Next little Sarah raised her hand
and said, "Our family are farmers too.
But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs
one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the
moral to this story is, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Sarah.
Ashleigh, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, my daddy told me this story about my Aunty Karen. Aunty
Karen was a flight engineer in the Gulf War and her plane was hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of
whisky, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whisky on the way
down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of
100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran
out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade
broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did
your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

Stay the f**k away from Aunty Karen when she's been drinking!