To The A Port To The A Port.

[DOC]

After a long and events packed i though i would qickly type up a recount while having a coffe before going to bed.

To set the scene you need to picture the pepsi ad with the monkey dring the cab to the air port. and all is exactly what happened during the day.

4.30 am i ring the cab company
CAB COMPANY LADY who answrs the phone: Good morning XYZ cabs whats your destionation ?
ME: TO THE A PORT , TO THE A PORT in a nice big loud voice.

well that was it she she started howling with laughter and she didnt stop the whole time i was trying to give the address etc, ( i think she still trying to stop ).

Meets n Greets all went well and had a cab booked to pick me up at 4pm

this is where the fun starts again, the cab rocks up and it had to be the oldest dirtiest most bashed AU cab in sydney the driver looked like he had dragged himself through WW2 and some how survived it.

anyway i jump in the cab, the vents are all smashed and the interior is sheite, ( very true and they charge people for this ? ) anyway i says to him

ME: will this thing get us to the air port
CABBY: sheel be right mate
ME: i could always help you push it if it dont

down the track and entering the tunnell he hears on the news a big accident the other side

CABBY: sheel be right mate i know another way, its a bit out of the road but well get there
ME: o ok how long you been driving cabs
CABBY: about 17 years ( if it wasnt an AU it would have thought he had been driving the same cab for 17 years anyway )
ME: do what you need to do then buddy

Next minute were cutting of traffic and he making for an exit and bang were out of there, so nows all goos while i listen to him and how proud he is that he is missing the accident.

while he's telling me this

CABBY: if you look down there you wil see where the accident is

what he also done was to also lean right over and also have a look. next minute where in full lock bracke sliding straight up the back end of a 1 tonner ute and probably missed by the width of a match.

lets just get to the airport i think, we get there he parks himself in real proud and i had 30 mins to get my flight so all is good, pass him the credit card, next minute he says

CABBIE; O shiete
ME what
CABBIE: it says i need to call base for a reference
ME Oh?
CABBIE: you should have paid cash and we wouldnt have this problem
ME always paid by credit card mate ( usually that fare is around $100 ( what had happened half way though or somthing because of where he was the tranaction cut out and all needed was the auth number or somehing ?

so next minute hes bashing the console buttons for the taxi phone and dials the company, and gets though and nnow he's yelling

CABBIE whats the number i need ----- cant hear you reception is bad -------- whats the num Bash goes the fist again and some some colourful words

CABBIE ( after ringing again ) whats the number ------ cant hear you ------

at this point i hear the superviser ask him does he have a mobile phone

CABBIE what do i need a mobile for ----- you cutting out ----

cabbie hangs up.

ME: Bud not ****ed with you but i need to catch a flight and you need to sort this or im gone, is he calling back or you calling him?

CABBIE dont know weel wait

ME ( gets mobile out ) whats the company number mate ( i ring and get the guy ) hi mate what info do you need ( he just needed to verify the number and give the auth to put into the machine to continue the transaction )

SUPERVISER ( to me ) that cabbie you got there must be a real toser can i speak to him ( me yup and hands phone over )

i could hear the superviser going troppo, get yourself a mobile phone and the cabbie in all his might" what do i bloody need one of those for"

any way the superviser says to the cabby what was the fair

CABBIE i dont know its stuck in the machine
SUPERVISER what do you mean its stuck in the machine its in front of you on the panel
CABBIE no its not its in the machine i cleared the pannel
SUPERVISER ^%$IYTDGDKJHG

cabby says to me what was it $127.20 wasnt it ?

ME bud i thought it said $64 but i dont want an arguement i want to just bloody get on my plane

cabbie hangs up the phone

ME ? whats the deal now, is he ringing back
CABBIE not sure

ME ( now pastbeing nice ) (&^%(&^%(&^%

so i ring the superviser back ( who was trying to call me ) and the superviser now also rips the cabbie and after all that we got it sorted and it was the $64 i had said so all well n good, im paid and cabby out of here.

He drives of rantin and just pulls straight out without looking and nearly cleans 2 more cabs up in the process.

Now you would think everything is now sweet, i had my ticket and didnt need to line, i can still make this flight.

like a terrior on heat im straight in the security check lineup and throw the laptop and gear through the gizmo, and yep on the other side while packing the comp back into the back , heres the bomb detector guy reading me the cheat sheet,

ME mate heard it before take you swabs while pack n rack if thats cool im running late

SEC yep cool

takes samples from bag n computer ( meanwhile im packed ready to go ) and he says yep all good, i say great he says STOP, we need to testyou as well

Shiete i says to myself ,

ME sure buddy lets go ,

ok were past this there cant be any more drama's and fly over the the leaving bay i need and theres only one guy left standing behind the counter ( i think great missed the bloody fight ) but turned out i was early and had read the deaprture time wrong.

All good go get a feed, by crisspy creems ( S) and settle down finally relaxed ( by this time i was pretty tired as i had not slept from the day before.

finally yep lets board the plane , im one of the first in line and guess what my ticket doesnt work, the guys can you just stand over there until the girl comes back

now im think what a day, turns out because i had picked the ticket up in adelaide and they had changed planes i just needed a new ticket

HOSTESS sorry bout that you still have a window seat but right up the front.

ME thanks, and glad now i can get on the plane and finally get a kip, finds the seat and sits down then for some reason as you do just looked down out of the widow and i see 2 pair of feet hangin out from under the jet motor.

???? next minute two guys emerge with oily rags and seemed to be wiping oil up ( and yep this plane was older than the darn taxi ), o well must be ok, but no next minute the sides are off the jet and the guys puched 2 holes in a tin of oil ? with his screw driver and proceeded to do a top up.

Now im thinkin its been a funny day so forget it, they close it up and wipe up thier oil spills and away they go, now at this time i dropped of for a few quick winks but woke when i heard the plane start to taxi, great were on our way home and just befor take of went back for a kip, ( was dead tired ). soon after a jolt and i woke up and we were back in the docking area just like we hadnt been anywhere ?

i turned to the lady next to me and asked

did we not taxi out or am i dreaming, she said yes we did but had to come back because of a light.

at that point the el capatian comes on and says

" a light has been dislodged and needs to be repaired before take of "

im now thinking why not and what next? well that answer wasnt far away, i must have dropped of again and next minute woke to the whole plane rocking with a big bang.

me to the lady, " what was that?" the truck to fix the light hit the side of the plane"

o now this is really good but must of fell back asleep,

and i dnt know for how long but for some reason i woke ( but was still dead tired so it was sort half awake and half asleep for a moment if you have ever done it ) and i was lokking out of the widow and all i saw was white and the motor, but everything was deadly silence ( still waking up )

Ok so now im thinking ( very true for a split second ) the planes cactus were smashed and and im on the way to see the big boss.

I snapped to, started hearing noises and all was good i had been reborn.

and after landing you would think and so did i think there is nothing else could even look like going wrong,

guess again, i get into the cab with one motion, my sprit and mind climed out twice as fast, this guy was one of those who has never washed, he was putrid.

hanging my head out the window i thought better talk to this guy ( who could barley utter any legible words ) hows your day been mate

Cabbie , crap mate the wourld is like this you either scre*& it or it scre%$ you

ok im thinking yep another bloody happy cabbie.

I left him a $10 tip and i just hope he buys some darn soap with it.

Home now and time for a good kip. ready for the next time

( forgive any speling errors ) till next time.

TO THE A PORT, TO THE A PORT